Damned if I know.
I need to lose about 100 lbs. I know all the steps and how to do them. Except the part about actually doing them.
Eat fewer calories, eat more nutritionally dense foods.
Move my fat body more to burn more calories and get my muscles in better shape.
Pretty simple right?
Super simple, easy enough that my 10 year old could do it.
But I do nothing, or even worse eat calorie dense foods with little or no nutritional value.
I have not been trying very hard to lose weight of get healthy lately.
In 6 days I change the first digit of my age for the 5th time.
It feels like it should be important buy I find myself not really caring much.
My creative pursuits are having the same issues as my weight loss. I do very little and have been moving very slowly with projects that are well past when the people I am working with should have kicked me to the curb. They have not and that give me hope. They are being tremendously understanding and patient.
I really need to figure out what the hell is going on and likely seek some professional assistance if moving forward on the mental front.
Wow the urge to blot out that admission is very strong…
So yea, I’ve found that if I do not do some kind of accountability in a public manner than I generally don’t do the things I should do.
I get caught up the the Important urgent and the unimportant urgent tasks. The things that I really need to do are all important but not urgent.
So here are some of the important but not urgent things I need to do every day:
- Walk 30 minutes
- Drink 3 liters of water
- Meditate 10 minutes
- Typing practice for 15 minutes
- Work on post production for audio drama for 30 or more minutes
Of course there are many more things I could put on that list. Things like what and how much to eat, housework that needs doing, other creative projects any number of other important items. But I’m only putting 5 on there. As I improve on getting these items done and turn them into habits I can look at adding more items. But here at the start I need to get some momentum going to 5 it is.
All for now.
Many changes since the last post. I’ve shipped 2 children off who joined the military. One is training to be a jet engine mechanic in the Air Force and the other will be training to be a computer and network specialist in the Army National Guard. So a bit of empty nest going on at the moment. I’ve attended both of the conventions that I had planned to attend and met some wonderful people at both. I’ve managed to allow imposter syndrome / performance anxiety stop me from doing the audio work that I love.
Wow tons of things.
I’ve started exercising again so I can get more healthy. I’m using numerous tools to head for this goal. The new tool is having friends who are working for the same thing all pulling together is helping me quite a bit.
I’ve just restarted working on the audio projects that have been languishing.
There are a couple of writing projects that have shown up on the horizon but I need to time to figure them out more before approaching them.
I took a voice over class at a local studio. Real studio environment caused the performance foo to kick up but I got through it. The final email from the instructor was very encouraging. As with all my pursuits I need to step up and do the things that I know I need to do to move forward.
The weight is still being a thing with total calories and portion control being the evil which I need to overcome.
For all the things going on there are good days and there are bad days. I need to keep working on having more good days if I want to get healthy. The alternative is rather definitively terminal. To that end I’ve set up an appointment with a medical professional for the first time in way too long. If I don’t know exactly what is going on with me then I can not properly address it and safely get healthy.
All for not.
Nope no at all. Great ideas all of them but not working out the way I had envisioned them to.
All the plans of mice and men come to nought without engagement and follow through.
I had a grand time creating the plans and making the lists but when it came down to it I have not followed through on them at all.
Almost no exercise, my diet is a joke.
Again I could make all the excuses in the world but I am not doing the things that I need to do for my physical and mental health.
When the mental is good I do the physical so I need to do my meditation and watch the foods that exacerbate the mental things and consume then things that will lessen them. Deliberately not going into details here because ‘reasons’.
On another note I have been getting creative work done. WOO!!
I’ve completed roles for 2 audio drama podcasts (1 live now 1 in development). I’ve also completed some sound design things and am working hard on a couple others (sorry nothing publicly available at the moment)
I know most of the things I need to do.
I don’t do them most of the time.
ADD and stress have been playing a role in this for the past several years.
As I get more stressed the more my ADD presents. This causes me to feel more stress. Nothing like a nice self-perpetuating cycle of woe to make things difficult.
So I need to just do it. Granted I’ve been saying that for quite a while now.
I have a plan.
I made 3 task lists:
- Daily tasks : This one stays the same for the most part. It contains things like my exercise and water intake.
- Work : This one changes each work day and has the items that I plan to complete for my day job each day.
- Personal : This one has my um… personal daily tasks / goals on it and can change daily as well.
I am limited to 5 tasks on each list, this is to keep myself from overloading my tasks and creating more stress. I can and likely will do items that are not on the lists but the list items are the most important ones.
I have 6 colors for each list:
- Purple : All tasks on the list are complete
- Green : 4 items on the list are complete
- Blue : 3 items on the list are complete
- Yellow : 2 items on the list are complete
- Orange : 1 items on the list are complete
- Red : No items on the list are complete
I exercise daily. I am creative in some way every day. I meditate every day.
I’m not going to go into the details of all the tasks since that would make posting about it much more daunting.
I have my lists all set for tomorrow.
So the accountability wagon is not playing nice with me.
I keep falling the heck off.
So this weekend I’m going to delineate my goals for the next few months.
Once I have that done I’ll be able to better have an idea of where I want to go as well as a plan on moving in that direction.
One of the things that I have set out to do is to do more work with audio production. Which I have had the piece I worked on go live today so I am moving in the right direction.
We had a function that we went to all day so I only got in the typing practice. Back on the wagon tomorrow. 🙂